Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Consumer Alert!

Hey people... by people I guess I mean my 1 follower... Sorry for the blandness of my entries. As soon as I figure out how, I'm going to try and put up some pics of the movie posters and stuff. Until then, I guess you'll just have to use that limitless imagination that I know you all have. Oh, wait, you're spending your free time reading a blog. I forgot.

- jay

p.s. remember, indecent exposure IS a crime. Don't do it.

A-Team

A-team came out in theatres June 11, 2010. Based on the 1980's TV show, the movie's director, Joe Carnahan, aimed to bring it more into the "real world", I guess you could say, kinda like Batman in the recent Dark Knight and Batman Begins, or even James Bond in his latest two films. The movie is about a team of four army rangers who take on the missions no one else would stand a chance on. They use their strength, cunning, and incredible luck to take down terrorists and other evil-doers. BUT guess what? They get betrayed, framed for a crime that they didn't commit, and the film really takes off from there. It really was a fun movie to watch and, I have to say, the thing that really got me was the originality of some of the fight scenes. Without giving TOO much away, I've never seen any other action hero try and fly a tank. Pissed off 'cause you didn't know that happened? Thinking about exiting my site for good before I ruin the last Harry Potter for you? Well think twice because the tank thing doesn't really matter much to the plot, it's just super bad ass. And every body dies in the last Harry Potter. Snape and Hermione hook up, but that's for a totally different entry. Anyways, A-team? Stands for Ass-Team.. 'Cause they, you know, kick...ass... The movie, in my opinion was pretty good. It wasn't great, and I probably won't see it again in theatres, but i think it'd be worth buying when it comes out for DVD. It's about 2 hours long and is PG-13, so if you're looking for a total gore-fest, look else where. But if you're looking to have a good time watching a movie that, in my opinion, is for more than JUST it's original fan-base? Go see A-Team!

-jay

p.s. Liam Neeson (the dad in Taken, Obi Wan's master in Star Wars episode 1) is in it! What else could you ask for?

Monday, June 28, 2010

Kick-Ass, the motion picture

Kick-Ass began showing in theatres April 16, 2010. Since seeing it, I now have a new standard for action/comedy's... It's called, the Kick-Ass standard. I was blown away by this master piece. Ha, I saw it twice, laughing just as much the second time as i did the first time. Directed by Matthew Vaughn and based on the comic book series by Mark Miller (that's right, Sin City, 300, THAT Mark Miller), the movie is about a teenage boy who lives a boring life. Well, that's not the entire plot. If it was, it probably would have gone down the road of American Pie, but no. Instead, it set the Kick-Ass standard. The main character, Dave Lizewski is just an average, every day guy... UNTIL he decides to adorn a green wet suit and fight crime! with no powers or super-skills of any kind, he pits him self against the toughest of New York's criminal underground. Along the way he meets other masked crime fighters, such as Bid Daddy and Hit Girl, both of whom seriously Kick-Ass. HA! Did you catch that? It's the name of the movie and... uh yeah. Anyways. The film is about 2 hours long and is rated R. If you're thinking this is just another Scary Movie type of slap-stick humor, you're dead wrong. It's a dark-humored approach to a real-life situation. By real-life, i mean that the gritty realism of the fight scenes and the characters Dave meets takes it beyond the realm of other fictitious super heroes. The main villain through out isn't a masked robber, it's a mob boss and his mafia. The movie is down to earth, plain and simple. I strongly recommend this movie, to any and everyone who shares my darker humor, and likes knock-out bloody action movies. Yeah, blood in a super hero movie. It's there. Fans of the original comic series be warned, it does stray on a few key parts, however the story is still essentially the same. My final verdict? 10 stars out of 3! Just kidding, I'm not going to invent some imaginary meter to tell you what i think. Go see it, it's pretty awesome. Spoiler alert: The movie rocked

-jay

p.s. APPEARENTLY, i'm old enough to work and drive by my self, but I STILL can't see R rated movies allone without sneaking in!

Welcome to the neighborhood

Hi. I'm Jay. Well, that's not my real name but my real name doesn't matter. This isn't exactly a blog about my life, so if that's what you were looking for when you stumbled onto this little piece of web-mastery, you're sadly mistaken, and should return now to the life you don't have... hmm.. Let me know how that works out. Let me now break my own rules by saying, I LOVE movies! What I don't love is fifty year old "professional" critics who seem to think that they can see a once, and speak for everyone who hasn't seen it. Can you believe that?? Well do so now! Believe it! I'm a teenage guy, I doubt that I'll share the same likes and dislikes as a 64 year old woman named Helga Obbenschmidt who gets paid to watch movies and trash talk them after! So, out of duty to my country and obligation to it's fair people, I have created this website, and have dedicated it to giving movie reviews, from the point of a teenager who loves action packed adventures, suspenseful horrors, crazy sci-fi's and all-around GOOD FILMS!!! So suck on THAT, Hollywood!
-jay

p.s. sorry Mrs. Obbenschmidt. I'm going to assume that you're not real because I made up the name as an example, but honestly, I'd rather NOT be sued..